Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

justin beiber sucks

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

WILLYS

How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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