Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Wind say to the Window? (Insert Racist punchline here)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? cause he had mad-cow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican Cross the road? He was on His way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was walking to his car, racist....just kidding, he was on his way to rob a bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock? Who's There? Not Suzy. What did Suzy want for Christmas? Parents who loved her. What did Suzy get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a guy on the street throws a boy between 2 priests

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy drop his lolypop Because it tasted bad

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops