Q: What do you call a cow wearing a hat? A: A cow wearing a hat.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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What is a white man in a white shirt called A white man in a white shirt

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Why did the man die? because he hit his head and drowned

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Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

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Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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knock knock who's there Bob oh hi, come in

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you gay?

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown, sued the water company, bought a huge settlement and ran off with that slut Little Bo Peep.

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Why did Jenny cry? Because everyday Jenny is bullied. Jenny cried for this reason, but nothing happened. The bully still bullies her today.

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did u hear the one about helen keler neather did she

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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