Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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knock knock go away

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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