How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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Inspirational story: There once was an ugly old man who was so ugly everyone died. The end -Matt

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Why did the computer load on facebook? Thats what you typed in.

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Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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What? Huh?

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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Why did kenny the koala fall out of the tree? becuase kenny was dead. Why did kesha the koala fall out of the tree? because she was hit by kenny while he was falling.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

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I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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baloney sandwich

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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