Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Because he felt like it okay!!! Just let him be!!!

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KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BOO. OH, HEY. COME IN. ....

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Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

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IT SOUNDS SO WROOONG! Actually I was thinking more about when I go short sentences, you go short, then I decide to put in like 500 lines in a single comment and then you do. Besides I call it caps! And no, I do not want you to be like me, there was already another me, it was a complete bitch killing him, I mean if I did not know a lot worse, I would say his chances at kicking my ass where equal. By the way, that "you you seducer" totally sounded like something Donald Duck would say, I dig Donald, so I guess I am into cartoons.

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Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

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I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

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What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

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I like poop in my butt

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What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

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If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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Just because you do not see the joke, it does`t mean its not here... Ps: It helps us get hookers and beers while wasting your "valuable time" OMG PLEASE BE FUCKING UNDERSTANDING OHMYLAWD!!!!!!!!! Ps: Cry harder you greedy sons of shedogs

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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what did the palatiespussy say to the asain how many cocaines did i say was a black pankakkkke MMMFUUCCK NORDSTRUM(CUM)

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Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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