I was expecting something like that... Anyway, good you do not mind in particular, because that means I am just boring myself here, so, tell me something about yourself you don't tell people most.

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What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

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Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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