Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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Whats funny? Your face.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops