whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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