what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

Which square is small and yellow? The small, yellow square.

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is wrong As violets are violet

Roses are red, Because they can intrinsically change color through natural dyes.

Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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