What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

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Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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