anti-joke.ru - russian style

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Get up Look in the mirror

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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