How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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