A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

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What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

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knock knock come in

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The cream, it is coming

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two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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Two Eskimos are in a bath tub. One says pass the soap. The other says no soap; radio.

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops