Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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Why did the Wife cheat on her Husband? Because she was a f***ing BITCH.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Why did kenny the koala fall out of the tree? becuase kenny was dead. Why did kesha the koala fall out of the tree? because she was hit by kenny while he was falling.

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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What's blue and looks just like water? Water.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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belly button

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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A giant foot comes over the town and a man says "theres something big afoot" hahahahahahaha

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where is the world?

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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