A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

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whens your birthday? July 16th What year? Every year

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

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What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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An antijoke

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How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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A cathlic priest walks into a bar, but realizes there are no young boys hr could pickup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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