You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

thumb_up thumb_down -10

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the black man eat two buckets of fried chicken? because he was hungry and he likes fried chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what does nike and the kkk have in common? Nothing as one is a brand of clothing ie;shoes, hoodies, etc. while the other is a racist cult formed in the 19th century which persecuted african americans.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -80

crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

thumb_up thumb_down -88

how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

thumb_up thumb_down -94

What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

thumb_up thumb_down +57

You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

thumb_up thumb_down +45

three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Wana hear something dirty? Mud

thumb_up thumb_down +37

AND

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops