3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

It's funny, because she's twice his size!

Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

Like my status for a tbh?

What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

An iguana walks out of a bar

what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

Whats worse than black people : a grimy old woman lickin your toes

What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

what did liam weir ask ethan. how much charge do you have

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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