Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Five guys one rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -125

Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +88

why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops