I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Hoocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Aaron Cummings is me. Find me on facebook:)

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

JUSTIN BEING SMART

thumb_up thumb_down +21

99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A horse walks into a bar. He ordered some fries.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops