What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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a black guy with rights in 1924

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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