Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

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How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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Why did the white supremacist stab the black man? He believed his race to be superior to that of the black man, thus he resorted to violence in order to display his supremacy.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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