What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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Goat balls.

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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Two men are talking at a bar. They both order the same drink but are charged different prices. Angered, one of them men confronts the bartender. A fight breaks out and the bartender is seriously injured.

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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Lacrosse

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whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

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What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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