What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

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How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

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DERP

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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HAPPY NOVEMBER 2

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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9/11.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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