To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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son, you're adopted.

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Winking at old people

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Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

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Women's rights.

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What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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Tia is a dumb website. Turn 0ff blah

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What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

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a man killed wife. he successfully rid the scene of all evidence and buried the body under a bridge. unfortunately he forgot to bury the head and went to jail for life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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