Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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A Man thought it was a good day and to go on anti-joke.com then he saw a post that had a link. This man was you and the link was http://minedgamez.tk/beta/ The man then clicked the link and fucking laughed so hard xD. She died in a car crash. Then a pickle appeared. It was then eaten by you not realizing it was actually a hamster.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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