- Anti Joke

My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

u know whats a crime? rape