I was watching Fox news.

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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what just happened when chuck norris falling from the sky..? Starts making a wish

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the vagina smell so bad? Because it had yeast infection.

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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