If you have a stroke, call 000

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

Why does Joel's breathe smell?

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

why are anti jokes so funny? cuz u pobably just laughed at this one.

In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

Why are black people so dark? They originated from Africa

What is worse than the holocaust? DUH! A worm in MY apple!

Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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