A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...