Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Justin Bieber

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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what's purple and plastic purple plastic

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops