Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What do you call a hindu that has radiation poisoned A radiatative hindu

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops