Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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