A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops