Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

why did the dog went inside the church? because the door was open.

What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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