what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Ruff, hi, ruff ruff, we are both dogs ruff ruff, ruff ruff, ruff!!

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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2 guys are in a bar joking and having a good time. One guy looks to the other and says, "So...HOWS your wife?" The man replies "...She died in a horrible car accident." The man's friend then says "...I am sorry to hear that.." "Yeah I know I wish that God damn rat wasn't in the road goddamn fucker"

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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24

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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Long joke Your such a downey

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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