What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

Why did the old man die? He was old.

A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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