What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

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A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

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what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

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Humpty the extreme sized grenade fell off the wall. The universe is now in little pathetic bits.

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Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

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AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

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A Christian asks god why there is so much pain and grief in the world. God does not exist.

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What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dave." "Dave who?" Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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Whats worst than the holocaust? What? 6million Jews.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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