q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

Black people

Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

What do you call a man with a diploma? A high school graduate.

Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face! -Lets go Mets

What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

Wanna hear a joke? WNBA

Why does Garrett have a small penis? He is not old enough to buy extenze.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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