What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There's a black man and a mexican in a car who's driving ? The black man because the mexican is intoxicated and they both want to prevent serious injury or death

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's up? Your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops