A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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Studies prove that bald people have no hair?.

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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Knock knock. Who's there? A bad joke.

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

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Why did Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple? Because he died.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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You:Knock knock friend:who's there you:come in friend come on who you:come in your mother

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops