boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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