why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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what's white and sticky semen

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

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two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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