"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Menstrual jokes aren't funny. Period. Neither are 9/11 jokes. Just plane wrong Same with cripple jokes. Can't stand them I don't see why Helen Keller jokes are funny

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why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

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A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

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Q: What's worse than a black guy with a gun? A: the holocaust

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops