Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

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Why didn't the cab driver pick up the black man? Because the cab driver already had a passenger and it would be unprofessional to pick up another person.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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It got hit by a rocket.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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