Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

Racial Equality

Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

Why did the boy fall off the swing?

there are 2 men standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is called Peter

What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

why did jenny fall off the swing? because she had no arms Knock Knock Whos there? not jenny

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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