I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a man walks into a bar he suffer's bad injuries by Mad

thumb_up thumb_down -22

HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you kill a black man There is many ways

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Tina: Mom, would you love me if I was straight Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was gay Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was Bi Mom: No Tina: Why not Mom: Because that's selfish!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

thumb_up thumb_down -22

kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

thumb_up thumb_down -22

knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops