Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

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a brick cheated on another brick, the brick that was cheated on was angry and became disgusted at the brick that cheated. the current brick that was cheated on tryied top kill the other bitch brick, the brick that cheated tried to break up the fight but testicles

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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