What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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Stephen Hawking

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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