My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Stephen Hawking

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops