Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the bat mobile? Robin,get in the bat mobile.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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