Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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life is like a box of chocolates, it sucks if you have diabetes

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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Womans baksetball...

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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Michael Brown

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian working in a field? You politely ask their names and then use them; their colour is of no consequence.

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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