How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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YOLO

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Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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Women's rights.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops